<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Weathering the Storm by Marjojo02</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880948">Weathering the Storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marjojo02/pseuds/Marjojo02'>Marjojo02</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxious Zuko (Avatar), Arguing, Assassins &amp; Hitmen, Barely Legal, Blackmail, Drama, Drama &amp; Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Fights, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Home, Honor, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, Knifeplay, Knives, Lemon, Letters, Lingerie, Literal Sleeping Together, Marriage Proposal, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), Morning After, Naked Cuddling, POV Zuko (Avatar), Pillow Talk, Post-Finale, Post-War, Propositions, Rain, Reading, Reading Aloud, Scandal, Sexy Times, Showers, Sleeping Together, Teenage Drama, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Vaginal Fingering, Zuko (Avatar) Angst, Zuko (Avatar) Deserves Nice Things, Zuko (Avatar) Gets a Hug, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar) Tries His Best, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:06:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marjojo02/pseuds/Marjojo02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mai's father kicks her out of the house, Zuko wants to help, but there are complications. Can he figure out a way to support his girlfriend without jeopardizing her future? How can he accept her love when he's so damaged? </p><p>(Takes place in the AU of my long story When It's All Over, but you don't have to read that to understand this one.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mai/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cast Out into the Rain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author's Note: This story is set a couple weeks after the finale of the TV show.</p><p>This story begins during or just after chapter 15 of When It's All Over, a long story I've been working on. Zuko has been crowned Fire Lord, and Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Toph have just left for a short vacation to Ember Island. It also takes place in the same universe as my Maiko one-shot, A Contentious Reunion.</p><p>For any readers who haven't read When It's All Over, I've kind of created an AU of my own. This story follows the TV show canon to the finale, but diverges from the graphic novel canon, including The Promise, where Mai and Zuko break up. You don't really need to read that story to understand this one, but it might add something.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With his friends gone on Ember Island, Zuko was able to put in a good day of work. For an entire morning, he focused on assigning cabinet and diplomatic positions. He had to clean house: there were many officials who could not be trusted because they were still loyal to the previous Fire Lord. When he came to the name of Ukano, Mai's father, he paused. He wasn't exactly sure of the man's politics, but he couldn't risk offending his girlfriend's family. Ukano had served as a colonial governor, but those positions were now extremely sensitive, as well as temporary. He thought there was a chance that if he sent Ukano to Yu Dao or Cranefish Town, he would take his daughter with him, which would obviously put a damper on the young Fire Lord's love life. He looked at the list of available positions for one with sufficient prestige that would be based here in the capital. He settled on a job titled Colonial Liaison and drafted a letter offering the man the post. Then he moved on to the next position that needed to be filled.</p><p>If he'd known what trouble it would cause, Zuko might have spent a little more time deciding how his girlfriend's father could best serve his administration. But it wouldn't have made any difference.</p>
<hr/><p>That evening there were thunderstorms in the capital, the kind that soaked you to the bone in the time it took to dash across the street. Zuko was in bed and almost asleep when his peace was interrupted by a commotion in the hall. He opened his door and saw a drenched and disheveled Mai charging through servants trying in vain to block her way. He called them off.</p><p>"What's wrong, Mai?"</p><p>"My father is an ass!" She yelled, ripping at one of the towels the servants had tried to press on her, and throwing it to the ground. He grabbed her shoulders, so that she had to look in his eyes, and something she saw there made her burst into tears. Mystified, he wrapped his arms around her. He'd never seen her cry before.</p><p>"Your father can't possibly be worse than mine," Zuko tried a joke, and was gratified when he felt her give a little snicker. He directed her a couple steps away, where there was a padded bench in the hall, and they sat. "Just take a deep breath and tell me what happened." With some effort, she regained most of her usual self-control.</p><p>"He got your letter with his new assignment, and threw a temper tantrum, ranting all around the house." Mai began, "First it was just about his vanity, and how the post was beneath him, just glorified paper-pushing, he called it. Then he started calling you a traitor, all kinds of horrible names."</p><p>Zuko was surprised. "I...thought your parents liked me."</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "They were perfectly thrilled that I was dating the crown prince. But now..."</p><p>"Now he thinks I've stolen the throne from my father, and that I've personally insulted him with this appointment." He guessed.</p><p>She nodded. "He expects me to choose a boyfriend according to what will advance his career and further his ideology. So now he wants me to dump you."</p><p>Zuko dropped his arm from around her shoulders, stunned.</p><p>She went on. "He even said he and his friends are going to break your father out of prison and put him back on the throne." A chill swept down Zuko's back at the thought, and he cursed to himself. He should have known the peace of the past week or so was too good to last. But Mai wasn't quite finished with her explanation of what had happened. "When I spoke up to defend you, that was when he turned on me, and told me I had to break it off with you."</p><p>Zuko tensed himself in preparation for the pain of what she was about to say. He'd always known she was too good for him, but it had never occurred to him that they would end this way, because of parents and politics. He imagined not only losing her, but facing her on opposite sides of a rift in his country, a civil war. This was an absolute nightmare. "Is that why you came?" He asked quietly. "To break it off?"</p><p>"No, you idiot." She spat. "I told him I wouldn't, so he kicked me out."</p><p>"Oh." He was dumbfounded by her loyalty. What could he have ever done to deserve it? "You mean, you chose me over your family?"</p><p>"Over my ass of a father, yes. Easily." She looked down. "But my mom didn't protest, so I guess she picked his side. Maybe she was too scared."</p><p>"So you didn't have anywhere else to go?" Zuko questioned, trying to figure out what to do next.</p><p>She stared at him a moment, speechless, as if he'd slapped her. He cursed himself; he should have known that would be the wrong thing to say. Now she thought he was trying to get rid of her.</p><p>"Well, I just thought of you first, but maybe I shouldn't." She stood to leave, and he grabbed her hand to stop her.</p><p>"No, I'm grateful you did, and that you didn't want to break up. I want to help you." He assured her, before expressing his desire for caution. "I'm just worried about...how this is going to look."</p><p>"Do I look like I give a shit, Zuko?" She was distraught, more worked up and emotional than he'd ever seen her. Even her hair was a mess.</p><p>"Maybe you don't, but I do." Regardless of whether <em>she</em> valued her reputation, her future, he knew he owed it to her to take care, so that she wouldn't be ruined.</p><p>He called in servants as witnesses. "Help Lady Mai get to bed in one of the rooms upstairs. And station a guard at her door to protect her from any visitors, even the Fire Lord." She looked at him quizzically. "We can talk in the morning and make a plan." He gave her a short kiss on the cheek.</p><p>She yelled after him as he shut his bedroom door. "Yeah, run away! That's what you're good at. At least this time you didn't leave me a note!"</p><p>Zuko shut his eyes and leaned on the door. Mai's words hurt, but he'd already forgiven her. He imagined she was going through something like what he'd experienced when he'd first been banished, though thankfully without the physical injury. So she was lashing out at him, like he had at Uncle, just because he was there. Except that this was happening to her because of her relationship with him. He had cost her everything-her home, family, status. His guilt was unbearable.</p><p>The firebender paced his room, wondering frantically what he could do. He and Mai could only have a normal courtship while she resided with her parents. If she wasn't welcome in her home, if she had nowhere else to go, then of course he wanted to help her. There were plenty of rooms at the palace. But an unmarried man and woman living together—it was a scandal. What other options were there? Zuko's family owned some properties in town, and in other parts of the Fire Nation, like the beach house. He could put her up in one of those. Or simply give her cash to buy her own place, separating himself from the transaction. But he knew how each of these actions would be interpreted, what people would say she had done to earn such generosity from the Fire Lord, and it couldn't be kept secret for long.</p><p>Royal matchmaking was a blood sport to the women of the aristocracy. A bachelor Fire Lord would be under constant surveillance. If Zuko visited a house in town with any frequency, it would soon become common knowledge who lived there, and speculation would follow. If he ever entertained a female visitor who wasn't living under the protection of her parents like a proper noble girl, it would be assumed she was being paid for services. There was already gossip about Katara, Toph, and Suki, who had spent several nights in his home unsupervised, but as foreigners they were already considered disreputable, ineligible for more than a dalliance with the Fire Lord. It galled him that his own behavior was not judged in the same way as his girlfriend's would be, but he could do nothing to change it.</p><p>The simple solution would have been for them to simply elope, but they were too young. Zuko was willing; he would have offered gladly. He didn't care that marriages in the royal family were typically arranged and distant, chosen for political expedience, or, as his parents' had been, for optimum breeding potential, rather than love. He vastly preferred a relationship with true attachment, like he seemed to have with his girlfriend. It was yet another reason to wish they were adults, instead of being stuck in the in-between zone of the teen years, bodies full of mature feelings and desires, without the legal rights to match. But he had to admit that in the abstract, he thought the law was good; restricting marriage to legal adults was perfectly reasonable, even wise. Zuko supposed that as Fire Lord he could make his own marriage an exception to the law, but in this case that would seem...predatory, unethical. What kind of a leader would he be if he changed the laws to suit himself, and then changed them back just as capriciously?</p><p>By kicking her out of the house, Mai's father had jeopardized her reputation, forcing the outcome he wanted for her relationship. The only way Zuko could provide for his girlfriend without tarnishing her good name would be if he never saw her again. And if that were the case, then she might as well break up with him, as her father demanded, and move back home. The conclusion was inevitable. He dreaded telling her. This would hurt them both so much worse than that letter had.</p><p>Zuko's only consolation was that it wasn't too late to salvage her future: a single night could be hushed up. It made him wish they had spent it together, but that would have been taking advantage. He would have to face her in the morning, and he didn't know what in the world he would say.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author's Note: The Fire Nation may or may not be this patriarchal and repressive in canon, but I just decided to portray its culture this way because it creates an interesting dramatic dilemma for the characters. I just hope it makes sense, and I'm sorry if it falls a bit short there. I'm hoping it will pay off in the drama of next week's chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Finding Shelter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko lay in bed worrying for hours, so that when he finally did get to sleep, he stayed that way much later than usual. When he saw the height of the sun through his window, he cursed himself and prayed Mai hadn't already disappeared. He dressed quickly and looked in the hall upstairs, the breakfast room, and the courtyard with the turtle duck pond, before simply asking a servant for Mai's location.</p>
<p>"Of course she's in the weapons practice room." He mused to himself, walking swiftly toward the other end of the palace.</p>
<p>As he approached the room, he could hear the impact of his girlfriend's knives on the target.</p>
<p>
  <em>Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.</em>
</p>
<p>He entered, but stayed near the door, far from the flying projectiles. "How are you?" He asked, stiffly.</p>
<p>She barely glanced at him, focusing instead on her target. "Fine."<em> Thunk.</em></p>
<p>"You don't look fine." He ventured, observing her red-rimmed eyes, drawn mouth, stiff shoulders, and the mud on the hem of her dress from the previous night's flight.</p>
<p>"Of course I do." She denied her condition. "I am a fierce, independent woman. A warrior and an unmatched markswoman. I don't need my father—or you-to provide for me."</p>
<p>All of that was certainly true. But she was in a mood he'd never seen in her, and he was having trouble reading her tone. "What will you do?" Zuko asked, dumbfounded.</p>
<p>Mai shrugged. Despair had dissolved all her self-concern. "Become an assassin for hire." She threw another knife and hit the bullseye.</p>
<p>"You'd be good at that," he had to admit. But something in her brittle voice told him that wasn't what she really wanted.</p>
<p>"Of course I will." She threw another knife.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat. "I would like to offer you a place to stay, but there are complications."</p>
<p>"I know. You're the Fire Lord." She answered resentfully. <em>Thunk.</em></p>
<p>He shook his head. "That's not the issue."</p>
<p>"Then what is?" She was out of knives to throw, so she turned to him, arms crossed.</p>
<p>"I just...don't want you to be stuck."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"We're really young, and you shouldn't have to be tied down, or miss out on any opportunities..."</p>
<p>"What kind of opportunities?"</p>
<p>"To...be with someone else."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about? I don't want to be with anyone else."</p>
<p>She was going to make this hard. Zuko sighed. "I know you don't now, and neither do I, but I don't want you to be left with no choice later. I don't want you to be forced into anything."</p>
<p>"If anyone's forcing me into something, it's my father." Mai pulled a knife out of her sleeve and threw it at a target to his left. He would have flinched if he weren't so focused on her, if he didn't trust her perfect aim.</p>
<p>Apparently he had to spell it out. "My concern is that if an unmarried woman starts living in the home of an unmarried man, her reputation is ruined. No other man would ever be willing to marry her."</p>
<p>"I know that. I don't care."</p>
<p>"I care!"</p>
<p>"You just mean if I become a fallen woman, then you don't want my dirty reputation to touch your crown."</p>
<p>"No, that's not it at all!"</p>
<p>"Then stop pretending to be concerned for me and tell me why you really don't want me to stay." She spat.</p>
<p>"Why don't you tell me why <em>you </em>think that is, since you know everything." Zuko crossed his arms, angry at her for willfully misunderstanding him.</p>
<p>"You're the Fire Lord now." Mai gave a sarcastic mock bow. "You need to keep your options open so you can marry whoever will benefit the nation the most. To make an alliance or to solidify your support within the country."</p>
<p>"What? No! That doesn't matter to me. I'm only worried about keeping <em>your</em> options open. I don't want you to have to marry me just because no one else will have you. If you go live somewhere else, you'll... have your pick." He finished uncomfortably. He hated the idea of her choosing someone else, of course, but he hated the thought of her marrying anyone, including him, out of desperation or obligation even more.</p>
<p>"Without my parents in the picture, my options are already severely limited." He knew she was right. No eligible man in the aristocracy, not even a well-to-do merchant, would consider marrying a young woman who wasn't living with her parents. The assumption would always be that she had been kicked out for indiscretions that would make her a bad wife. "Good thing hired killers don't need to get married." She turned and threw another knife at the target.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I do." He felt awkward stating the obvious. "Need to get married. You know, someday."</p>
<p>"That's true." Her expression turned bitter, her tone caustic. "There are going to be dozens of sweet little pampered dolls lined up for you to choose from." She pulled another knife from her sleeve and hurled it at a dummy. "And I'm sure the bottom dwellers in the underground bars where hit jobs are posted will show some interest in a lady assassin."</p>
<p>"If you go back to your parents, you'd be free to choose anyone." He pointed out, ignoring the way his gut clenched at the idea of Mai even talking to the unwashed thugs he'd seen at the taverns Jun frequented.</p>
<p>"Anyone but you." They stared at each other for a long moment, until she softened. "Come on, Zuko, this is nothing that wasn't going to happen eventually. All my father has done is accelerate the timeline."</p>
<p>She certainly sounded sincere, but it was too hard to believe. It must be because of his new position: what girl would give up the chance to become queen? He hadn't known that she cared so much about those things, but he couldn't fault her for it, not if it meant he got to keep her. Even so, he had to be sure that she wasn't making this decision impetuously, without taking the time to think it through. He swallowed the lump in his throat and proposed another idea, his voice gentle. "What if you go back to your parents' house, and I'll wait for you. I don't mind. We couldn't see each other, but you'd be free, and if you still feel this way when you're old enough-"</p>
<p>But Mai was shaking her head. "Look, we're both lonely. My dad cares more about his ambitions and resentments than my wellbeing; my two best friends are across the world with her new warrior sisters, and...in an asylum. Your friends are traveling, your uncle's in his tea shop, and you don't have a single person in this palace right now who's not paid to be here."</p>
<p>"So you only want to live here because you feel sorry for me." Zuko's pride was injured, and it made him strike back, though he hated himself for it. "I'd rather get dumped than have a girlfriend who only sticks with me out of pity."</p>
<p>"I wouldn't give <em>him</em> the satisfaction." She snarled. He knew she meant her father.</p>
<p>"So that's why you really want to live here, to piss off your dad." He accused her.</p>
<p>"Because you need me!" She corrected him. "You don't have anyone else. And neither do I."</p>
<p>He couldn't bring himself to deny that. "But then you would need me to marry you." He objected.</p>
<p>"Don't do me any favors," she snapped.</p>
<p>"That's not why I'd ask!" he protested.</p>
<p>"And my ass of a father has nothing to do with why I want to stay." She asserted, stamping her foot.</p>
<p>"If you stay, I'm going to ask." Zuko threatened.</p>
<p>"I'm ok with that!" Mai yelled, throwing her arms up in frustration.</p>
<p>"You're...ok with that?" He repeated, confused.</p>
<p>"Did I stutter?"</p>
<p>It took a minute for it to sink in: it sounded like she had basically just invited him to propose. And a girl wouldn't do that unless she was going to accept, right? But—he had to be mistaken. "So what does that mean?"</p>
<p>"It means I'm going to stay and you're going to ask." She repeated, as if he were an idiot. But he thought he might have seen some tension in her mouth, as if she had to fight to keep from smiling. If becoming Fire Lady someday was what would make her happy, he was only glad he had a crown to offer her. To him, letting a girl use him like a staircase to higher status wasn't settling; it was the best he'd ever thought he'd be able to do. And if <em>she</em> were the one utilizing his position to elevate herself, then for the first time in his life, he'd be grateful for being born a prince.</p>
<p>She was much too far away, all the way across the room. Zuko walked over to her slowly, as if approaching a wild animal. "May I?" He took her hands in his, and kissed her gingerly on the lips. Suddenly they were both unbearably shy, looking down at their clasped hands.</p>
<p>"So, um, what do we do now?" Mai asked after a moment, as if she felt as awkward as he did. It did feel strange, to go from yelling at each other to...whatever this was, so quickly.</p>
<p>"Well, how about a tour of the palace?" He suggested, surprising himself with the heartiness in his voice. "If you're going to live here, you should know where things are."</p>
<p>"I know my way around."</p>
<p>"Not everything. There are plenty of places you haven't seen. Come on."</p>
<p>She had visited most of the public places of the palace, like the courtyards and gardens, the galleries and dining rooms and exercise area. But she had only ever been a guest, though a frequent one; she didn't have the intimate knowledge of the building that could only come from growing up inside its walls. The previous night's storm had subsided into a steady rain that made the indoors feel cozy and hospitable, even the palatial corridors that were usually imposing in their grim grandeur. Taking her hand, Zuko showed her his favorite childhood hiding places, the best route to sneak into the kitchens for snacks. He told her the silly nicknames he and his mother had made up for some of his ancestors in the portrait gallery, and the story of the time he had been caught bringing a baby turtle duck into his grandfather's formal audience room.</p>
<p>Finally, they ended up on the hall of the Fire Lord's chamber, where the rooms were assigned in order of the line of succession. He showed her into the room five doors down from the end of the hall.</p>
<p>"Do you recognize this room?" Zuko asked.</p>
<p>"This was Azula's room when we were little." Mai answered.</p>
<p>Spread over the walls were the evidence of a cold war between the girly aesthetic their mother had set up when she'd originally decorated the room, and Azula's more gothic tastes. The young princess had loved exploring dark, creepy places like the family crypt, and had tried to bring that kind of atmosphere into her bedroom. One corner of the room was dedicated to nightmare monsters like the kemurikage, the legendary headless lieutenant, and Koh the Face Stealer. Azula's childhood idol had been Ona Senzi, a female warlord from the bloody days before the unification of the Fire Nation centuries ago. She had hung several paintings of the terrifyingly beautiful commander around her room; her favorite depicted the outlaw queen with blood dripping from her mouth. There was also a shelf full of ghost stories and horror tales, the more gruesome the better, and a trunk overflowing with monstrous costumes.</p>
<p>"It was not easy to spend the night here." the girl admitted. "I tried to say no to sleepovers, but my parents wanted me to be close friends with the princess."</p>
<p>The next room on the hall was Zuko's own childhood bedroom.</p>
<p>His girlfriend recognized it as well. "I remember Azula taking us in here to steal things from you, or ruin your toys. Sorry I didn't stand up for you then."</p>
<p>He shrugged. "You did when it counted."</p>
<p>They looked around a little at his plays and picture books, and his old set of child-size swords. There was a puppet theater, and a contraption with a candle that he had used to put on shows with shadow figurines. His mother had been the main audience, or his cousin, when he had been around. Zuko touched his old pai sho set that was missing some pieces, and some soldier figurines that he would set up in formation, imitating the descriptions from his uncle's letters from the siege at Ba Sing Se. There had been some happy moments in his childhood, after all.</p>
<p>Next was the suite his parents had shared. Even when he had been just a prince, Ozai's tastes had still been opulent, to the point of obscenity. He had chosen flamboyantly ornate furnishings without regard for how the pieces looked piled on top of each other. The clashing colors and textures almost gave Zuko a headache.</p>
<p>There was a door connecting this room to his mother's. The contrast between the two adjoining rooms could not have been greater. Ursa's bedroom had the same comfortable, homey feeling as the family sitting room she had decorated, the one where Zuko's Circle of Praise had been held. She had filled a bookshelf with plays and opera scores, many with her handwritten notes in the margins, and hung some dramatic masks on the wall. When she had lived here, fresh flowers had bloomed on each surface. Zuko had snuck in here a couple of times, after she had disappeared, to see if he could still smell her in the clothes in her closet, where he had played hide and seek as a child.</p>
<p>"I like this room," Mai looked around at the charming feminine décor. "I liked your mom. She was practical and smart, but also fun. And she didn't take any bullshit from Azula." Zuko just smiled sadly at her. It was kind of her to say that, but it only made him wish Ursa were with them all the more strongly.</p>
<p>On his way back out of his mother's room, Zuko noticed something funny about the door linking the two bedrooms.</p>
<p>"There's a lock on this side, but on the other. The mechanism has been removed." He murmured, his stomach turning. "He could lock her out, or lock her in, but she couldn't do the same. She couldn't escape him."</p>
<p>Mai made a soft, devastated sound in her throat, and put her arm around his waist, leading him away. "Let's go," she said firmly.</p>
<p>The next room was not likely to cheer them up. It was Azula's. In recent years, she had outgrown her preference for the maudlin and embraced her own beauty. The room was arranged with military precision and neatness, decorated in the same pinks and reds of her usual clothing. Expensive bottles full of sweet-smelling oils for her hair and skin covered the vanity. But what arrested their attention was the broken mirror.</p>
<p>"I think she had-a kind of breakdown, or else we might not have been able to defeat her." Zuko informed Mai.</p>
<p>"That feels like it was my fault," she answered, disturbed.</p>
<p>"Then you traded my sister's sanity for my life?" He shook his head. "A terrible bargain, but one I can't fault you for."</p>
<p>She nodded solemnly. It seemed that perspective helped her to accept her culpability in her friend's collapse.</p>
<p>"Years ago, this room was Lu Ten's." He told her, unsure if she knew.</p>
<p>"Your cousin, right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." He wondered what had happened to Lu Ten's things. Maybe Ozai had had them stored away, or destroyed, or they had been given to Uncle.</p>
<p>Next was the crown prince's room, his room. He was shy to show her. It was pretty basic and simple, at least from his perspective. Though of course everything was of the finest quality, dyed in rich red tones. He had an array of weapons and practice swords, and lots of plays and histories on a shelf. He lingered near the doorway, unsure what to tell her about the space. "It used to be Uncle's room. He was first in line before I was." She nodded at the information, and they left.</p>
<p>At the end of the hall were the chambers of the Fire Lord. Though the rooms belonged to Zuko now, he hadn't even ventured inside yet, preferring to remain in the bedroom where he'd slept for years. This chamber was much like the room Ozai had previously occupied, only larger, its ostentation completely unrestrained. Dragons, griffins, and phoenixes flew across the ceiling. The head of the gigantic bed reached high up the wall, covered in baroque curves meant to represent flames. Huge east-facing windows were lined with elaborately brocaded curtains. Everything was gilt. It was Too Much. The only personal touches the former Fire Lord had chosen were three portraits of himself alone. A fourth unfinished portrait leaned against one wall; the label on the bottom read "The Phoenix King." On the canvas, Ozai wore the most ridiculously outsized and elaborate ceremonial armor Zuko had ever seen. It looked less intimidating than laughable, especially considering how the man's ambitions for world conquest had ended: with humiliating defeat at the hands of a thirteen-year-old pacifist monk.</p>
<p>"What's this door?" Mai asked, pulling a knob in the corner.</p>
<p>"The Fire Lady's chamber," he answered. His mother had never stayed here. She had disappeared when Azulon had died, so that when Ozai moved into these rooms, there had been no one to accompany them.</p>
<p>They went through the door. The room was bland, like in a hotel. It was quiet and clean, devoid of personality. The sheets and linens were not actually very high quality, he noticed. They were quiet, both thinking that this would be her room someday.</p>
<p>"Do you, uh, like it?" Zuko asked awkwardly. His face felt hot.</p>
<p>"Nice view," Mai said, looking out the window, which overlooked a courtyard with a fountain. She walked slowly through the room, appraising it. "Odd." She picked up a half empty bottle of lotion on the dresser. Curious, she opened a drawer, and her eyes widened.</p>
<p>"What?" He asked.</p>
<p>"You don't want to know." She told him, slamming the drawer shut.</p>
<p>He shuddered and wrinkled his nose. They moved on. As they left, he noted that the door had received the same treatment as the one in his parents' rooms: the lock removed on one side.</p>
<p>"I suppose that concludes the tour." Zuko said briskly. "There are also a lot more bedrooms on the floor above this one. Those rooms used to be full of other relatives of the Fire Lord. Over a century ago. When the royal family was..." happier? Less dysfunctional? When they didn't kill and usurp each other? "bigger."</p>
<p>"I think I've seen enough for today."</p>
<p>"Then how about some lunch?" He suggested. He had skipped breakfast to look for her, and had had nothing all morning except the snacks they had grabbed when he'd shown her his favorite way to slip unnoticed into the kitchens.</p>
<p>"Sure."</p>
<p>They went down to the dining room and ordered komodo chicken with spicy tomato-carrot sauce, and ash banana bread.</p>
<p>"What next?" Mai asked when they'd finished eating. "What would you be doing now if I hadn't shown up last night and interrupted your whole life?"</p>
<p>"You didn't-this is not an interruption." He reassured her. "This is part of my job. As Fire Lord, I have to make decisions about my home and...family, and you're part of that now. I want you to know what this place is like. Even the...ugly parts. Maybe you could even help me fix it up the way you want it."</p>
<p>"Like renovate your father's old room? Get rid of all that gaudy junk? Sounds like a big job."</p>
<p>"You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I could hire someone."</p>
<p>"Oh, I'll do it, and I'll also hire someone to do the parts I don't like."</p>
<p>"Sounds great!" He smiled at her, grateful for her willingness to integrate herself into the palace, into his life. He answered her question. "Um, this afternoon I was going to finish what I was doing yesterday, going over applications for positions in the cabinet and diplomatic corps."</p>
<p>"I could help you with that if you want," she offered. "I might know some of the applicants from my parents' social circle."</p>
<p>"I'd really appreciate that."</p>
<p>They went back up to the room he'd been using as an office, and spent the afternoon and early evening making piles of applications, and gossiping about the men and women who had submitted them. He made much quicker progress with a second set of eyes to filter out unqualified applicants and check his mistakes. It felt cozy and comfortable, working in companionable silence with her. He couldn't stop himself from looking up at her every once in a while, unable to believe they were together, and that this would be his life from now on.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: The hall with the Fire Lord's chambers houses the royal family in order of the line of succession. Zuko and Mai visit the rooms in reverse order. During Fire Lord Azulon's time, this was the order: Fire Lord Azulon (and his deceased wife's adjoining room), Iroh, Lu Ten, Ozai (and Ursa's adjoining room), Zuko's childhood room, Azula's childhood room. After Lu Ten and Azulon die, and Ozai usurps his older brother, this is the order of the rooms: Fire Lord Ozai (and the adjoining hotel-like room that Ursa never stayed in because she disappeared at the same time), Zuko (in Iroh's old room), and Azula (in Lu Ten's old room), then the unused rooms that Ozai, Ursa, Zuko, and Azula used to occupy in happier days. Iroh, when he was in the palace during the time between Ozai's coronation and Zuko's exile, stayed in that second floor hallway, for members of the royal family not in the line of succession (which was a deliberate insult from his younger brother, the usurper). I describe these rooms as looking differently from the rooms in the show, because I wanted to use the rooms to show more of the characters' personalities and interests.</p>
<p>Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Lightning Strikes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After dinner, Zuko and Mai moved from his office to his bedroom, where he’d left some documents he needed to review before the following day. As the evening turned to night, they both seemed to be putting off sleep, and along with it, any decisions about their sleeping arrangements.</p>
<p>When he realized how late it was, the firebender awkwardly told his girlfriend, “Um, you know you can go to another room to sleep anytime. You can have your pick, they’re all empty.”</p>
<p>“We don’t need to sleep yet,” Mai objected, rolling her eyes at him as if he were a spoilsport who had just suggested ending a party several hours early. “Want to read <em>Old Flames and New</em>?” she proposed, looking through his shelf. It was the next in the sequence of dramas they’d been reading together before he’d left so abruptly on the day of the eclipse. It had been their goal to read all 39 of Gekisakuka’s plays aloud together, but they’d only made it through the early histories so far. The idea of picking up where they’d left off before their breakup was appealing.</p>
<p>“That’s a comedy, right?” Zuko asked.</p>
<p>She nodded, handing him the volume.</p>
<p>“Sounds perfect.” He didn’t feel like reading about patricide or broken families. A silly little romance full of puns and gags was what he was in the mood for tonight. Plus, the comedies usually had more female characters, so he’d get to hear Mai try to make up different voices.</p>
<p>She took off her floor-length quilted vest and unbuckled the throwing knives strapped to her wrists, setting them on a chair. “This thing is not very comfortable for lounging.” She explained. “Too many hidden blades. And you run hot.” Underneath she wore all black: a bell-sleeved top and loose trousers. She sat on the bed and scooted next to where he reclined on the pillows. He put his arm around her and held the book so they could both see it, and they began to read.</p>
<p>They were well into the second act when he’d just finished a long all-male scene. He turned the page, and it was Mai’s turn to read, but he saw that she was asleep on his shoulder. He set the book aside and flicked his fingers to put out the candles, laying his cheek against her hair and closing his eyes.</p>
<p>Zuko woke sometime in the night to movement against his side. Wordlessly, they both adjusted their positions, removing a pillow or two behind them so they could lay flat. He felt Mai’s forehead and nose against his left temple and cheek for an instant, along with a squeeze of her arm around his middle. In the moonlight coming through the window, he could see her looking up into his face, smiling only with her eyes. She put a hand on his cheek, trustingly, and he couldn’t help but kiss her.</p>
<p>It was as if another bolt of lightning had been shot through his body, exhilarating and compelling, charged with undeniable electricity. He channeled it back to her, making her moan into his mouth. The sound sent the blood rushing to his groin. He would have shifted his lower body away from her to hide his arousal, but her arm pulled at his waist, pressing them together. Even through their clothes, the intimate contact made him gasp. Suddenly he was on fire; he didn’t know if she would quench him or fuel him, but either way, he needed more of her.</p>
<p>Unthinking, he turned to lie on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress. Her legs parted, so that his hips settled between them, and they began to move together. It was amazing how perfectly their bodies lined up, how easy it was to imagine them just like this, but skin to skin, nothing between them at all, rocking back and forth exactly the same way, naturally. They kissed frantically, heedlessly,  tongues pushing against each other, hands burning up and down their sides.</p>
<p><em>This is my WIFE</em>, Zuko told himself exultantly. It was quite possibly the most thrilling thought he’d ever had. <em>I am going to cover this woman with garnets and rubies, and the most priceless royal jewels will fail to match her radiance, and I will make her the first lady in the land, and make love to her every night, and it’ll feel even better than this when we make children together, and I will honor my bride with everything that I am, and shield her from all shame, because for some insanely wonderful reason she has chosen ME, and this is my wife, and oh great fire, I have to stop, I can’t treat my wife like this!</em></p>
<p>Abruptly he rolled away, as visions of the door between his parents’ rooms came to his mind, the lock on only one side. He felt guilty, monstrous, as if he’d trapped her, the girl he was supposed to care for and protect. A part of him had known this would happen if he let Mai fall asleep in his bed; he should have insisted they sleep separately. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to control himself. But then, he supposed he <em>had</em> controlled himself, and not a moment too late: he had stopped voluntarily, before she’d even asked him to. She was into it, he justified himself. It had certainly felt like she’d wanted him. She had definitely kissed him back, her arms around his shoulders, and hips undulating in time with his. That was exactly what had made it feel so fantastic, what had made it so difficult to pull away. If he hadn’t felt her responding so enthusiastically, he would certainly have ended it sooner.</p>
<p>She lay silent next to him, still breathing hard.</p>
<p>How could he fix this? “I'm so sorry.” He began.</p>
<p>“Sorry for starting that or stopping it?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Both.” He answered, not sure if it was the right thing to say.</p>
<p>“I'm only sorry it stopped.” There was something bold and defiant in her voice. “I'd really like to finish.”</p>
<p>Surprised, Zuko protested. “We shouldn’t--”</p>
<p>Mai interrupted. “I mean, I’d like you to help me finish.”</p>
<p>“Oh. <em>Oh</em>.” He flushed as he realized what she was asking for. It was an absolutely scandalous request: a well-bred girl from such a fine, noble family should certainly never ask for such a service, certainly not before marriage, and maybe not even after---but it shocked Zuko much less than it should have. There had always been something transgressive about Mai; she had only ever followed the rules she agreed with, and it might have been his favorite thing about her. He supposed it couldn’t compromise her any more than she already was, and decided he could not refuse an explicit invitation, especially not such an appealing one. “Yes. Please. Show me.”</p>
<p>He felt her fidgeting next to him as she unbuttoned and adjusted her pants. Wanting a little more light, he quickly tossed a flame to a candle on the bedside table. Then she took his hand and placed it between her legs. His fingers explored her tentatively, touching folds and ridges that he had felt dully through their clothes, until he found a slick opening. Eyes on hers for permission, he slid one inside.</p>
<p>“Is this where......?” He asked.</p>
<p>She nodded, then took his wrist, adjusting him. “But this is the spot.” She touched her fingertips on his nails. He stroked that spot gently, and her whole body quivered in response. She closed her eyes and turned her face straight up, while he scattered kisses over her temple and cheek.</p>
<p>He pulled himself up on his elbow, so that his hand could get a better angle and he could see her whole face. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he murmured.</p>
<p>“Little circles,” she instructed, her hips and abdomen trembling, brow furrowed in concentration. He paid close attention to her reactions as he tried to figure out how her body worked, how to please her. She gave him some hints. “Faster. Not that fast. Lighter. Farther back. There. Right there.”</p>
<p>After a few minutes, her breathing changed suddenly, became more rapid and shallow. She was gasping, and with each exhale, the most exquisitely erotic sound came out of her throat.</p>
<p>“Inside now,” she ordered, and he readily complied. Now the heel of his palm was over the place she’d shown him, and she pressed her fingers against the back of his hand, until she moaned again, and he felt his finger being squeezed, as her back arched off the mattress.</p>
<p>After her shudders subsided, her eyes opened to the ceiling, and then she turned her head to look at him, her face lit with the widest, most unguarded smile he’d ever seen her make. Utterly captivated, he spilled his heart for her. “Mai, I love you so much.”</p>
<p>She hid her face in his shoulder, and he came down off his elbow to hold her more closely.  “I guess I just showed you how I feel,” she said sheepishly.</p>
<p>Zuko couldn’t help grinning. “You <em>did</em>. That was incredible.”</p>
<p>“Better than anything I’ve ever done on my own,” she told him. “You're a quick study.” Zuko felt her approval stretch his smile from big and proud to downright idiotic. Then she made an offer that shocked that expression right off his face. “Would you like me to return the favor?”</p>
<p>He blinked and swallowed, struggling to come up with a proper response to such a delightfully immodest offer. As much as he would surely enjoy her “favor,” he felt he could only accept if she hadn’t suggested it out of obligation. “Of course I'd like it, but you don’t have to. I’m perfectly satisfied.”</p>
<p>“I want to. I'm curious.” She trailed her hand down his chest, and stroked him over his pants once, causing him to inhale sharply. Then she pointed to the button of his pants and raised an eyebrow at him. He eagerly took them off.</p>
<p>She touched his cock lightly, in a gentle, exploratory way that was honestly not very stimulating.</p>
<p>“I gave you directions,” she reminded him, an edge of annoyance in her voice.</p>
<p>“Oh. Um, maybe squeeze harder? And focus on the tip?”</p>
<p>“You can show me if you want.”</p>
<p>He put his hand on top of hers, and soon she was using exactly the right pace.</p>
<p>She pumped him a few times, while he fixed his attention on the feeling. Just as it was going from good to amazing, her hand pulled away, and she said, “This feels awkward.”</p>
<p>“You can stop. It’s fine.” he assured her, hiding his disappointment, and he thought, succeeding.</p>
<p>“No, I just mean I'm righthanded.” She sat up and straddled his legs, which allowed her to use her other hand more easily, and changed the angle of her grip to one he couldn’t possibly recreate himself. Then she started doing exactly what she’d been doing before, only with a bit more dexterity because now it was her dominant hand. It was probably the most delicious physical sensation he had ever experienced.</p>
<p>“That feels great, Mai, you’re perfect,” he praised her. Needing another point of connection, Zuko touched her knees with his hands. He closed his eyes and pictured her smile, and remembered her wanton moans. Then it only took four or five more strokes until he was coming apart, saying her name again and again, tossing his head from side to side. When he returned to earth, he saw her smug half-grin, the same one she made when she hit a difficult target right on the nose. Embarrassed at the mess, he grabbed a couple of small towels from the bedside table and handed one to her. After they were both wiped clean and their pants were fastened again, the candle put out, they settled back into each other’s arms.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he whispered weakly into her hair, which was somehow still sleek and neat. He’d never felt so secure or so cared for; he only hoped she felt the same. In coming to his home the previous night, and sleeping in his bed, she had jeopardized everything in her life that she’d been taught to hold sacred: her reputation, her virtue, her body. Her position had become almost unbearably precarious; she’d made herself completely vulnerable to his whim. The amount of trust she had placed in him would have been overwhelming if he had doubted his own determination to make good on his promise, if he were less sure that doing so would result in his own happiness. Given her situation, she might be feeling insecure. He only hoped she hadn’t offered herself to buy security from him; he’d tried to make it clear that wasn’t necessary. The least he could do was offer her a little reassurance of his intentions. “I meant it, you know. This morning.” He whispered into the dark.</p>
<p>“I’ll hold you to it.”</p>
<p>“You won’t need to.” He vowed. “You have given me.....the greatest honor of my life.”</p>
<p>“Greater than being crowned Fire Lord? Dancing with the last dragons? Or training the Avatar?” Mai asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>“Did I stutter?” Zuko tossed her words from the morning back at her.</p>
<p>“I guess not.”</p>
<p>He kissed her forehead, and they fell asleep together, shielded from the storm outside but not from each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Clear Sky Morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light came through the windows; the sun had been up for more than a couple hours. Though Zuko usually got up at dawn, he had been so comfortable and relaxed that his sleep had lasted much longer than usual. And when he finally opened his eyes, he could see why: Mai sprawled half on top of him, pinning him to the bed. As soon as he felt her weight against his chest, and recalled what they'd done and said in the middle of the night, his arms involuntarily embraced her, making her stir. He cursed himself for waking her; it would have been nice to lie there beneath her, feeling her soft breathing, as long as possible. Her head lifted and she squinted at him.</p><p>"Good morning," he said, kissing her on the tip of her nose. He tried to control his mouth so that his smile didn't look too dopey.</p><p>He must not have succeeded, because she rolled her eyes at him. "Why do firebenders always like to wake up so early?"</p><p>"It's not that early," he protested.</p><p>Mai glanced at the window and saw that he was right. She stretched, arching away from him, and then settled back even closer, looking up at him. "What now?" She asked, and there was something in her eyes that looked doubtful and vulnerable.</p><p>Zuko knew that she was asking about more than the day's plans, but he needed a bit of time to think. "How about we shower and change, and I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast." He gave her a quick peck on the lips and left the bed.</p><p>He felt exultant. Amazingly, it seemed that Mai lusted for his body as well as his crown, and that was more than he'd ever dared hope for. He'd always figured lying with his eventual wife would be businesslike, sterile in all ways except the one that counted; she'd endure him rigidly, thinking patriotic thoughts, while he tried his best to finish quickly so they could both just sleep. But Mai had asked for his touch, and even <em>enjoyed</em> it. (The darkness must have helped.) He had actually pleased her, and the sight of her ecstasy had overwhelmed him so much that he'd confessed his feelings. She didn't say it back, but he didn't care. If things between them could be like this, if he could continue to serve her and satisfy her, then maybe she would return his love someday. And even if she didn't, if their connection was just physical, he could be content with that.</p><p>But none of that could happen if he couldn't figure out a way to soothe her anxieties and make her feel secure in her new living situation. In the shower the young Fire Lord thought about what he could do, what was right and proper, what he owed her. He wanted to offer Mai <em>everything</em>, but not to overwhelm her. From brief memories and palace gossip, he'd gotten the impression that his mother had found being part of the royal family a burden, and had taken part in as few "princess duties" as possible, preferring to focus her time and attention on her children, and her hobbies of theatergoing and gardening. He would prefer if Mai would be his equal partner in ruling, starting now, but also didn't want to weigh her down with politics, and her participation might cause problems, at least until they were married. He didn't care too much about that, but maybe she would. At least her title was easy enough: she was born a noblewoman, so she was already Lady Mai. It was the same way his mother and grandmother had been addressed after their marriages, so for her that would never change.</p><p>He dressed in his usual gold-trimmed tunic and came down to the breakfast room, where Mai was already seated and eating. He was hungrier than he'd realized and stuffed his face a while. Inhibited by the servants in the room and his own still jumbled thoughts, he ate in silence. Once his plate was cleared, he asked the hovering servants to leave the room so he could speak more freely.</p><p>"So, you asked what now? You're my girlfriend, and you live here. The staff will be notified that your word is as good as mine in all matters. You'll know my daily schedule and will be welcome to join me for as much or as little of my day as you please. You will appear by my side at any public event you wish to attend; when you want to stay home I'll go alone if I can't get out of attending. You'll have free access to the entire royal family fortune, to spend as you wish. You can have whatever role you want, really. You can do the parts of the official royal business that appeal to you, and leave the rest to me or my staff."</p><p>She nodded. "And where do I sleep?"</p><p>If that was what was bothering her, Zuko hoped he could set her at ease about that at least. "Wherever you want. Choose any room to be yours. Any room with a lock on the door. I will always be more than happy to share my bed with you, but you never have an obligation. Your invitation to stay comes with zero conditions or expectations, especially none of that kind." It panged him to think that the previous night might have been a fluke, but waiting a long time for a repeat would be merely a reversion to the status quo of 24 hours ago, while abusing his position to pressure her would be unforgivable.</p><p>"I knew that. And you know that nobody can make me do anything I don't want to do. I assure you, if I'd thought there were some kind of <em>quid pro quo</em>, nothing would have happened last night. You were...exactly enough of a gentleman, and no more." He restrained a satisfied grin. Her voice turned businesslike. "However, I think I will set up a room to be just mine. I might not stay there very often, but if you work too late, I won't wait up for you." Mai warned, then looked down bashfully. "I would still like to finish reading through <em>Old Flames and New</em>. And the rest of Gekisakuka."</p><p>He blushed, wondering if she meant <em>only</em> reading the play. It seemed likely she didn't; she'd basically just said she'd sleep in his bed regularly. He was almost afraid to let her know exactly how thrilled he was to hear that, so he downplayed his excitement. "I'm looking forward to it." He examined her countenance to try to discern her intention, and saw something in her face that he hoped was unrelated to him. "You still look worried."</p><p>"I just...I'm thinking about my mom and Tom Tom. And I don't have any of my things."</p><p>"Kurina," Zuko called in the head housekeeper. A middle-aged woman in uniform appeared at his side. "Would you please see if any member of the palace staff has a personal relationship with anyone who works in Lady Mai's childhood home? Please find out, so that we can have eyes and ears inside that household. Bribe them if necessary. Offer a regular payment, so that Lady Mai will continue to be able to pass messages to her family." He turned to Mai. "You can make a list of the items you need, and our servants can smuggle them out. And write a note to your mother. You can also order replacements from the seamstress, the weapons master, any store in town you like. Will that help?" It was the best he could think to do to ease the displacement she must feel at the loss of her family, and the house where she'd grown up, but it wasn't enough.</p><p>She gave him a small, strong smile. "Thanks."</p><p>"I have a meeting with my exchequer this morning." He relayed his plans for the day. "Then in the afternoon I'll be calling some of those candidates in for interviews."</p><p>"I think I'll write that note, and a list, do some target practice, and then get started on redecorating some of those bedrooms."</p><p>"I trust your judgment on the rooms."</p><p>"I'll leave your mother's and Azula's rooms untouched. Except for replacing that mirror. But everything from the Fire Lord's chambers will need to be cleared out."</p><p>"Agreed. Can you make sure those rooms are unrecognizable?"</p><p>"That will be the goal."</p><p>"I won't move in there until you've finished fixing it up."</p><p>"If you like, I'll sit in on some of those interviews today."</p><p>"Of course you should be by my side in the interviews. I'd appreciate your opinion. And Mai?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>He reached for her hand across the table. "Welcome home."</p><hr/><p>Breakfast over, Zuko parted from Mai with a short kiss, then jogged lightly up the stairs to his office. He had so much extra energy in his legs he even skipped a few steps. There were a few minutes before his exchequer arrived for their meeting, so he decided to write a quick note to Uncle.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Uncle,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The most wonderful thing has happened, but for a terrible reason. Mai's father kicked her out of her house because he is still loyal to my father and believes I'm a traitor and usurper. She showed up here the night before last upset and bedraggled. I didn't want to allow her to ruin her reputation by staying in the palace, but she insisted, so we compromised. I'm letting her live here, and she's going to let me propose marriage when she's old enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'd never attach any conditions to Mai's residence here and she understands that. You can trust that I'll treat her with utmost respect and care. I'd rather die than fail to do right by her. And don't worry, I have an idea for dealing with any potential problems from her father.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You were concerned about me being isolated in this palace, and now that won't be a problem. For the first time since my mother disappeared, I feel like I can actually be happy living in these haunted old halls.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never imagined I'd ever get to feel this way, Uncle. I am completely in love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Zuko</em>
</p><p>He glanced over the note, and blushed at his own uncharacteristic exuberance. His uncle was the only person who would be just as thrilled as he was, and his emotional display was exactly what would make the old man smile. Before he could think better of it, he sealed the scroll.</p><p>He called for a servant to take his letter to the messenger hawks, just as the exchequer walked in the door.</p><p>"I'm glad to see you." The Fire Lord greeted the man, his voice almost jolly. "How do you feel about fraud?"</p><p>He glanced uneasily to the side and back at his boss. "Do you mean prosecuting it or committing it?"</p><p>Zuko shrugged. "Whichever is necessary."</p><hr/><p>A couple of days passed. Zuko spent the mornings in military reorganization meetings, while Mai replaced the things she left behind at her parents' house and picked out new furnishings for the royal bedrooms. Then they spent the afternoons together, reviewing the national budget, brainstorming possible legislation, or discussing the politics of the colonial transition. In the evenings, they got in his bed to read a play and fell asleep in the middle of it, sleeping so soundly and so late Zuko had to rush to his early meetings.</p><p>The next night, they separated after dinner; the Fire Lord tended to a crisis with the capital city police, and his girlfriend declined to join him, smiling mysteriously. When he finally made it back to his room, he put on his pajamas and got out some reports to read while he waited for Mai. He propped his door wide open, knowing she'd pass it on the way to the stairs for the bedroom she'd chosen, but not yet slept in. He thought that might send a message. Unless she was already in bed, of course. It was kind of late.</p><p>When he heard a soft knock on the doorframe and looked up, he saw Mai there, in a long, flowing nightgown and matching robe, silky and embroidered, obviously expensive. The sight of her was worth every coin. Zuko stood immediately.</p><p>"Did you come to say goodnight or to stay?" When she didn't answer immediately, he went on. "You don't have to keep pretending you just happen to fall asleep here. We can simply go to bed together. Like a…." <em>married couple</em>, he thought, but could not say. <em>Like adults</em>, he also thought, but that couldn't say that either. Both of those had implications he didn't want to make. "If you want to. If you're…..tired."</p><p>"And if I'm not tired?"</p><p>He swallowed, eyes unblinkingly focused on hers. "Then we don't have to sleep."</p><p>Mai pulled the door closed and approached him.</p><p>"This is pretty," Zuko reached out and touched the sleeve of her robe, pinching it between his fingers to feel the fabric's rich texture. That clichéd pick up line came to his mind, <em>it would look better on the floor,</em> but again, he couldn't say that. Not only was it totally groan-worthy, it was inappropriate. As much as he would love to see her naked, telling her that, when she was relying on him for a place to stay, was wrong. She was too young; he'd resolved to wait at least until her next birthday to really make love, and then only if she insisted.</p><p>"A good use of your money, then?" She asked coyly.</p><p>"Definitely." He replied solemnly. "It would be a shame if it ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor."</p><p>She narrowed her eyes at him. "That wasn't your sarcastic voice."</p><p>"No, I was being sincere. You should keep it on. It looks good on you."</p><p>"Huh." She crossed her arms. "I <em>should </em>ask for your money back, then. This is not what the saleslady said would happen when you saw me in this."</p><p>Was she trying to seduce him? "No, please keep it. I really like it. You don't have to try to impress me. I just want you to be comfortable," Zuko explained lamely.</p><p>"I am," she assured him. "You think I'd be here if I weren't?"</p><p>"You don't have anywhere to go if I…..made inappropriate demands….."</p><p>"Assassin for hire, remember? I have a backup plan. I'm not completely dependent on you. I'm here because I choose to be."</p><p>"Good. Do you want to go to sleep?"</p><p>"I didn't say that." Mai kissed him then, her lips tight and searing, so that he barely noticed what her hands were doing until the drawstring of his pants was undone.</p><p>He grabbed her hands in his. "Let's wait."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>He knew that she would only agree if he presented waiting to her as fun and exciting. He lowered his voice in pitch and volume, bringing her a little closer. "I just want to take my time to enjoy you. Slowly. Step…." He kissed her knuckles. "By step….." He turned her hand over and kissed her open palm. "By step…." He kissed the inside of her wrist, then trailed his mouth up the inside of her arm, as the wide sleeve of her robe fell back. He finished with a kiss on the inside of her elbow. "By lovely step."</p><p>She was totally on to him though. "It's cute how hard you're trying to make it sexy to not have sex."</p><p>Zuko grimaced at himself. "It's not working?"</p><p>"It's a contradiction in terms! Not even someone as hot as you could sell that idea. But I'll stop pressuring you if you want."</p><p>"Thanks. Um, I guess." He explained himself, not wanting her to feel rejected. "The thing is that technically, you can't legally consent. You're only fifteen."</p><p>"That's insulting. I know my mind." She declared.</p><p>"I know you do. But generally speaking, it's a good law. You know, you could bring charges against me for what we've already done. Actually, you couldn't, but your father could."</p><p>Mai's eyes widened in panic. She was kicking herself for not thinking of this, sure she'd played into her father's plan. "My father would love nothing more than an excuse to take you to court."</p><p>"Don't worry, I know the law." Her boyfriend assured her. "When he kicked you out, he gave up all legal right to defend your honor in court. Of course, it's your word against his that you were kicked out, rather than running away. But the judges are in my pocket and he knows it. And besides, the palace staff is loyal to me, and will swear you never slept here. They've recently gotten a substantial raise. Most of them remember my mother and uncle, and for their sakes, prefer me to my father and sister. I'm sure you know how <em>they</em> always treated the staff."</p><p>"But even if he lost in court, it would still cause a scandal for you."</p><p>"It would." Zuko acknowledged. Their living arrangement would already cause plenty of talk, but if it were merely indiscretion and impropriety, his brand-new reign could probably withstand it. Facing criminal charges, however, would severely undermine him as a ruler, possibly even stoking the flames of his opposition into a rebellion. "And Ukano would relish the chance to use you to destroy me. That's why I made sure to get some leverage. The morning after we-decided you'd stay, I asked my exchequer to look into your family's finances, and your father's work as colonial governor of Omashu. And he found some…..irregularities in the records. It turns out, your father has been embezzling money from the crown and the army for years. Obviously I had to notify him immediately that I'd found evidence of his crimes."</p><p>"Did your exchequer find evidence of fraud, or fabricate it?" Mai asked, cannily.</p><p>"Do you care?"</p><p>"Not at all."</p><p>"Then neither do I."</p><p>"So now you're blackmailing my father?"</p><p>"He kicked you out of your home: I offered to give him a home in jail. As long as he leaves us alone, I'll leave him alone. My conscience is clear."</p><p>Mai shook her head wryly. "And I didn't think you could get any more attractive."</p><p>He took her hand. "You know, when you're sixteen, the sweetheart rule kicks in."</p><p>"What does that mean?"</p><p>"It's an amendment to the law that is mostly used in rural farming communities. In the aristocracy, teenagers don't just fall in love and tumble in the hay." He quirked the corner of his lips at her. "Under the sweetheart rule, when a girl's father objects to a man lying with her, the girl can testify in support of her lover. If she claims she was willing, all charges against the young man-and he must be young, no older than twenty-are dismissed. Basically, at sixteen, a girl is considered-"</p><p>"To have the same knowledge of herself that boys always do."</p><p>"You're right that there is some inequality baked into these laws." Zuko allowed. "A lot of patriarchal assumptions. The purpose is to protect the vulnerable. I'd be open to a debate over how they should be changed, if that's really what you want to talk about in that lovely nightgown."</p><p>"I'm more concerned with the law's application to us. You seem to be saying you want to scrupulously obey it, even though you agree it's patriarchal and insulting."</p><p>"I'm saying I don't want to violate the meager protection the law gives you." He clarified. "I'd be a pretty terrible monarch if I didn't respect the law. And more importantly, a terrible partner if I didn't respect you."</p><p>Mai rolled her eyes. "I should have known you'd say no if it were a matter of honor."</p><p>"You do understand me perfectly."</p><p>"So, according to this law, I could cause a lot of trouble for you. If things ended badly between us."</p><p>"If I ever wrong you so gravely that you want to do that, I'd welcome the punishment."</p><p>She stepped close. "Are you saying that when I'm sixteen, we can..."</p><p>"I'm saying that when you're sixteen, my sense of integrity will no longer require me to resist your advances."</p><p>"All right, then." She turned around, her nightgown and robe swishing. He watched her as she took off the robe, draping it over the back of a chair. Her pale arms and shoulders were slender, toned, and bared. She pulled the covers back and climbed into the bed. "Do you want to just go to sleep?"</p><p>"I didn't say that."</p><p>"Then what <em>do</em> you want, Zuko?" There was an edge of frustration in Mai's voice.</p><p>"Whatever you want."</p><p>She sighed in exasperation. "That's not an answer."</p><p>"I'm sorry-"</p><p>"You want to just…do like the other night?"</p><p>Zuko grinned, relieved. "I'd like to get <em>really</em> good at that."</p><p>Mai returned his smile. "I plan to make sure of it. Come here."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Tender, Newly Watered Bud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next evening, Mai reminded Zuko to visit his friends on Ember Island. “You need a vacation too. You’ve been going nonstop for weeks now. I don’t think you’ve had a full day’s rest since you left this place to join the Avatar.”</p><p>“It was only about a week ago we were in Uncle’s tea shop in Ba Sing Se.” He pointed out.</p><p>“That was one relaxing evening between diplomatic meetings with the Earth King and two long balloon flights. You were just telling me how the morning after your sister attacked you with lightning, you limped down to the throne room to meet with the generals in case your father came back to kill you. You need a break.”</p><p>“But there’s so much to do! I’m trying to shrink the armed forces without causing mass unemployment and unrest....” he gestured to his stack of papers.</p><p>“It can wait three days.” Mai told him sternly. “Your friends are leaving on that tour soon, and then you won’t have the opportunity to see them at all.”</p><p>Zuko tilted his head in surprise. “I didn’t know you cared about them.”</p><p>“I don’t,” she lied, “but I know you do. They’re a good influence on you. You’re so much happier and more relaxed around them, and that’s what you need right now.”</p><p>It was hard for him to deny the truth in that. They both put aside the thought of what it might be like in the months to come, when his job would continue to be stressful, but his friends would be traveling through other parts of the world. He decided.</p><p>“Will you bring that red bathing suit?” He asked her.</p><p>She smirked. “Yeah. But only if you promise not to burn down anyone’s house if they look at me too long.”</p><p>“Deal.” He took her hand. “I can’t be jealous anymore. Not now that we have an understanding.” It was the first time either of them had alluded so directly to the agreement they’d fought each other into making, that morning in the practice room. At least in the light of day.</p><p>“What understanding?” Mai deadpanned.</p><p>His face fell. “I thought---”</p><p>“I’m kidding, Zuko.” She came close, wrapping her arm around his waist. “It means a lot to me too.” He relaxed into her, resting his cheek on her hair. “So we’ll leave tomorrow morning, then?”</p><p>“Yes, my lady.” It was a new nickname he used to tease her, imitating the palace staff, putting himself among their ranks, serving her.</p><p>“Want to go to bed?”</p><p>He nodded and dimmed the lights.</p>
<hr/><p>When Zuko and Mai had visited the beach house with Azula and Ty Lee, they hadn’t dared try to sleep together, afraid his sister would be all too happy to embarrass them or use her knowledge of their intimacy against them in some way. But with these new, happier friends, they felt uninhibited. Sokka and Suki were unabashedly sharing a room, and Aang and Katara kept holding hands and grinning shyly at each other. Love was in the air.</p><p>Zuko horsed around in the water with Sokka; Aang taught him to surf, and he taught the younger boy the ball game he’d played on his last beach trip. The whole group shared dinner and a bonfire, and some quiet conversations about what came next, now that the war was over. The firebender had watched his girlfriend in her bathing suit all day, her smooth, porcelain skin exposed to the sun and his appreciative eyes.</p><p>As soon as the door to their shared bedroom was shut, he was all over her. He kissed down her neck, to the top edge of her bathing suit. “Please? How does this come off?”</p><p>Mai reached behind her to untie something, and when her breasts came free, he caught one in his hand. She sighed at his touch, and he captured her lower lip between his. He weighed and massaged the soft mound, his thumb finding the stiff peak. Both wanted more; together they stumbled to the bed.</p><p>Since she had come to the palace, they’d shared his bed, and only twice repeated the intimacies of their first night together, both times at her insistence. In his bedroom, they’d been so eager to get straight to business that they hadn’t bothered taking off any more clothing than absolutely necessary. He had still continued studiously avoiding brushing her chest with his hands from sheer force of habit, even though they’d done much more intimate things under cover of darkness.</p><p>But now she was on her back, his mouth worshiping her breasts. Zuko was intoxicated with everything about this part of her body: shape, texture, color, scent, taste. From his position above her torso, he couldn’t help noticing how her stomach muscles rippled with her shudders of pleasure, and that made him want to examine that area more closely. He scooted down and pressed his face against the flat, smooth plane of her belly, felt the bottoms of her ribs and the curves in the sides of her waist with his hands and kissed her navel. Before he knew what was happening, she’d slipped her skirt and swimsuit bottoms off. She was completely naked.</p><p>“Go ahead,” Mai offered, opening her legs.</p><p>He took a long look at the triangle of neatly trimmed dark hair, and inhaled the tantalizing scent of her sex, before lifting his eyes to hers. “Let’s save it. One new thing at a time.” He thought that spreading their new activities out over several months would help him to wait. He pressed a lingering open-mouthed kiss to her hipbone and came back up to lie at her side. He could see she looked disappointed. “I promise you’ll still be satisfied.”</p><p>Knuckles under her chin, Zuko pulled her mouth to his, while reaching his arm around her neck so his hand could stroke her breast. As he deepened their kiss, he slid his other hand down to the spot she’d shown him. “There?” He asked.</p><p>“Closer to the front,” Mai corrected, and he began the circular stroke she’d shown him the other night. It was a challenge for him to do three things simultaneously, but it turned out that he didn’t have to do all of them particularly <em>well</em> at the same time. Simply being touched in so many intimate areas excited her. He could see that she was getting more and more wound up. It made him want to share his overwhelming feelings, to tell her what he saw in her, why he loved her, to use his words to give her even more pleasure.</p><p>“You have so much beauty inside you, Mai.” He whispered, his face too close to focus on her eyes, which were closed anyway. “So much passion, even though you hide it. You’re fascinating.” He pressed another ardent kiss to her open lips. “Come for me, my love. Show me.”</p><p>As her breathing became increasingly irregular, he felt her hand slip into his shorts.</p><p>“I’m trying to focus on <em>you</em>,” Zuko objected lightly, teasing.</p><p>“Maybe touching you is what does it for me,” she replied, her tone low and flirtatious.</p><p>“I could say the same. As you can tell.” Mai’s fingers wrapped around his hard length, while he struggled to concentrate on continuing to caress her in just the way that was causing these reactions.</p><p>It seemed to work: soon she was groaning into his mouth, her hips shaking uncontrollably. The moment her eyes opened and he saw that she’d come back down to earth, her hand started pumping his cock. They were in a position she’d said was awkward before, but he was so close, hopefully it wouldn’t matter.</p><p>“Fast and tight,” he encouraged, shifting his shoulder under hers, so that he could switch his hand to her neglected right breast. Her arm also had a little more freedom of movement this way.</p><p>“You make me feel <em>so good</em>, Zuko,” she purred. “And I really like doing this too.”</p><p>Her husky voice telling her exactly what he wanted to hear took him to a new level of arousal. Then it only took a few more quick pulls until he had to muffle the growl of his release against the nape of her neck. He used the shorts to clean himself up, offering her the chance to wipe her hand and side. He realized they were both naked now, and rather than making a big deal of it, or looking for clothes, he just pulled back the covers of the bed so they could simply lie together without the discomfort of feeling on display.</p><p>Zuko felt raw and exposed, not just his body, which was still buzzing. It was like his spirit was a livid wound, and she was a bandage wrapped around it. Her soft skin felt amazing pressed all the way up and down his side. She lay on his chest tracing the edges of the new scar there; he realized today might have been the first time she’d seen it up close. He had noticed Mai and Katara having a private talk at the bonfire, and his recently adopted sister had given him a significant glance afterward, which had made him think he’d been the subject. He remembered his girlfriend’s jealousy of the waterbender; surely she knew by now how ridiculous that was! Some extra reassurance couldn’t hurt.</p><p>“I would have done that for you too.” He told her.</p><p>Mai shook her head, disturbed at the idea. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to. Especially since I wouldn’t have been able to heal you like she did.”</p><p>“It’s funny. As I jumped in front of that bolt, I was thinking just as much of Aang as of Katara.”</p><p>“Really? Why?”</p><p>“I knew how much he loves her, and for his sake I couldn’t let Azula kill her. So I did what he would have done if he’d been there.”</p><p>“That’s really sweet. You’re a good friend.”</p><p>“I am? I feel like I’m only just now figuring out what that even means. I think Aang is the first friend I ever had.”</p><p>“Not me?”</p><p>“We’re more than friends.”</p><p>“But friends too.”</p><p>Zuko searched her eyes. “Yeah. I like that. I guess I just never thought of you as a friend because I was always attracted to you. When we were younger, before I got banished, it might have been just a crush. I couldn’t help liking my sister’s quiet, mysterious friend, the bad ass knife-throwing girl with the gorgeous hair.”</p><p>“I had a crush on you too.” She informed him mildly. “My friend’s cute, sweet older brother. Even when my upwardly mobile parents started encouraging me to spend time with you as well as Azula, I still couldn’t help liking you. And then there was the fountain incident.”</p><p>He groaned, flustered at the memory even now. “You mean you didn’t hate me for knocking you over and getting you all wet?”</p><p>“You know I like it when you get me wet.” She lowered her chin and put on a seductive tone for the innuendo.</p><p>“Mai!” He blushed furiously, giving in to nervous laughter at her boldness.</p><p>She snickered at his bashfulness, pleased to have provoked that reaction. “You’re getting pretty good at it too. I was starting to wonder if you’d ever initiate again. You haven’t since that first night. And even then, the only thing you did first, that I didn’t have to explicitly ask for, was kiss me.”</p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry.” Zuko had been so aware of their relative positions, charitable monarch and homeless girl, that acting on his constant desire for her had felt impossible. He’d become so concerned with trying to avoid pressuring or coercing her, that it hadn’t even occurred to him that <em>not</em> making a move could be a mistake as well. “I didn’t know that upset you.”</p><p>“I’m not upset, but if I have to beg for it all the time, that might get old. It might make me think you don’t want me.”</p><p>“I always want you!” He protested. “You’re so beautiful. So sexy.”</p><p>“Then show me that by getting things started sometimes.”</p><p>“I guess it’s just---I feel like I have to be really careful to make sure I never take advantage.”</p><p>Mai rolled her eyes. “Believe me, Zuko, if you ever try something and I’m not into it, I will let you know.”</p><p>He gave her a half-smile, chagrined at his own shyness. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Thank you for trusting me.”</p><p>“It’s easy when I know I can kick your ass if I have to.”</p><p>He smirked. “Good. Please do. I think hearing that makes it easier for me to trust myself.”</p><p>“I mean, look at us! Naked in bed together and still technically virgins.”</p><p>He smirked. “Technically.” What did it matter? Her reputation was gone; everyone assumed he’d already spoiled her. It was only his own sense of what he owed her that kept him from accepting her offer. He’d rationalized, counter-rationalized, and drawn his own personal line in the sand; maybe it wasn’t exactly in the place he’d been taught it should be, but as long as she was happy, he didn’t feel guilty. “Our self-control is truly remarkable. I just realized that in the palace I really feel the power imbalance between us.” He explained. “Here it’s easier to forget that.”</p><p>She shook her head at him. “That’s always been there, though. You were the crown prince.”</p><p>“I guess so. But it’s worse now. Before I left, things felt more equal because I liked you so much more than you liked me. And, well, this.” He gestured to his face.</p><p>“I always liked you a lot. Sorry if I didn’t show it enough back then. And you know I never minded this.” Mai cupped his cheek with her hand, and stroked her thumb across the numb red skin under his eye. “I remember when we first met back up with you in Ba Sing Se, I commented to Azula something like, ‘I really didn’t expect that scar to make your brother even hotter.’ She snapped at me, ‘Don’t you dare mention that. He’s very sensitive about it.’ And I was like, ‘Even if it’s to say something nice?’ And she put her finger in my face. ‘Especially then!’ I didn’t get it, but I figured she knew you better than me at that point. You’re telling me she was wrong?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Zuko replied shortly. His sister had been deliberately trying to keep this happiness from him, for her own reasons. She probably knew how close his decision to join her had been, how tenuous his allegiance to her and their father. Azula must have calculated that her brother’s loyalty to their country depended on his feeling alone and friendless. She was partly right. If he’d known Mai felt this way about him, his decision to leave would have been easier and come earlier, although he would have still waited strategically until the eclipse.</p><p>“Then I’m sorry for listening to her.” Her finger traced where his singed eyebrow would have been.<br/>
“This makes you look so much more interesting. You’re not just some bland pretty boy. You have an edge to you, and that makes you the only guy I’ve ever met who doesn’t bore me to tears. But more than that, I know what it means. It’s a mark of your strength of character. The price of standing up for what’s right in the Fire Nation.”</p><p>His chest tightened at her words. For years he’d been convinced his ugly scar would make him detestable to all women; he’d pursued the Avatar so avidly partly because he assumed that his only chance at anything like romantic love depended on regaining his position as crown prince. He’d figured he would only ever get a girl to accept his deformity if he could offer her all of the power and wealth of the royal family, and then <em>maybe</em>, if he was lucky, she would eventually be able to look beyond his face and care for him.</p><p>His best hope had been that this was what was currently happening with Mai: that her accommodations in the palace had dazzled her enough to make her content with her new predicament, ruined for all men except her disfigured almost-fiance. If he were honest with himself, he would admit he had showered his girlfriend with all his riches exactly because he knew it was all he could do to make up for inflicting the sight of his face on her. He’d always understood that he would have to buy love, and he wanted her so much he barely minded, had no shame. She could name her price, and he’d double it and pay gratefully.</p><p>But now Mai seemed to be saying she didn’t need any bribes. Hearing her share her understanding of his wound made him feel <em>chosen</em> in a way he had never dared to long for. Uncle had always told him his burn was a badge of honor; she seemed to agree. It made Zuko wonder if he’d been wrong about the other stuff too. “Thanks for saying that. You have no idea how much it means to me. Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What would you have done if you had gotten kicked out, and I didn’t have a palace to offer you? If I weren’t the Fire Lord, or crown prince, or even fourth in line?” Somehow this question was much scarier to him than even his shouted threat to propose a few mornings ago, and the only way he’d gotten that out of his mouth was because he’d been so angry he wasn’t really thinking at all.</p><p>“We’d have to go out looking for hit jobs to do together.” Mai shrugged. “An assassin duo could probably take down some higher value targets. Or, if you wanted to stay straight, we could make our way to Ba Sing Se to your uncle’s tea shop. He’d give us jobs. Or we could just camp. We’ve both done our share of that this year. You’re a firebender; you could keep me warm.”</p><p>“You would have left your parents to live with me even if we had to camp.” He repeated incredulously.</p><p>“I went to jail for you; camping would be easy.” She pulled away and narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t really think I’m just in this for your nice house? Or that thing you put in your topknot?”</p><p>“It would be ok with me if you were…..” he answered uncomfortably, knowing he was probably saying the wrong thing. “I never expected----"</p><p>“You know I saved your life.” She reminded him sharply. “Even though I thought your sister would kill me for it.”</p><p>“Why in the world did you do that?” He asked for the second time. He remembered the panic and grief he’d felt when he looked back from the gondola and realized what she had done; it had completely overwhelmed his relief at his own deliverance.</p><p>“Azula asked that too. I said, ‘Because I love Zuko more than I fear you.’”</p><p>“Wow.” Of course. He felt silly; why else would anyone do such a thing? Not even the most ambitious status seeker would risk her life just to be close to the royal family. He should have known Mai had never really cared about stuff like that, and even if she had, her friendship with Azula already gave her the same proximity to power. It was true: she actually did love him. For anyone to care so deeply for him was utterly implausible, but she had proven it several times over by now, in ways both pleasant and perilous. He swallowed the tightness in his throat, but his voice still cracked a little. “Azula’s pretty scary; that must have been a lot.”</p><p>“Yeah.” She put her head back down on his shoulder and scooted closer, tightening her hold on him. “More now.”</p><p>Thinking back on that moment, the harrowing conversation they’d had in that interrogation room immediately before her decision, and the explanations they’d given each other since then, he realized, “But you still did that and said that before we’d talked anything out, while you still thought I---”</p><p>“I thought you were a traitor who had left me for a Water Tribe girl. Yeah.” She acknowledged. “You were a jerk who had dumped me, but you were <em>my</em> jerk.” She poked his chest with a sharp finger. “That boiling water would have been a nasty way to go.”</p><p>“You’ve got that right.” In that moment at the prison, again the morning she’d decided to stay in the palace, and by now several times in his bed, Mai had put her entire future on the line for him. Compared to that, his insecure need to hear her say a few words was ridiculous. “It’s just so hard to believe you really want me. You’re too good to be true.” Zuko explained himself apologetically.</p><p><em>“I’m</em> too good to be true?” She laughed out loud at him. “You’re kind, handsome, well built, a strong bender, with increasingly skillful fingers. You just helped end a war, and you’ve already made yourself the best leader our country has had in over a century. You’re not only smart, you’re wise, and you treat me like a princess, inviting me to live with you with no conditions attached. Even your cute little friends are ok hanging out with me for your sake, even though I thew some very sharp knives at them. And as if all that weren’t enough, as a bonus, you also happen to be filthy rich and live in a palace.”</p><p>“But I cost you your family.” He protested. He hated that the price of their relationship had been so high for her.</p><p>Her expression darkened. “Small loss. When my father ordered me to dump you, that wasn’t the first time he tried to use my love life as a career stepping stone. I went along with it for a while because I wanted to date you anyway, even if I didn’t want to….” She trailed off. She looked like she wished she hadn’t said so much.</p><p>That made Zuko press for more information. “You didn’t want to what?”</p><p>“Make you part of his ladder.” She mumbled.</p><p>Mai wouldn’t look at him, but he stared at her intently, confused, until she glanced at him, trapped, and explained further.</p><p>“He told me about Huazo, how she made the Saowon clan more powerful by---"</p><p>He knew his family’s history. “Seducing the Fire Lord and bearing him an illegitimate child.” Actually, his ancestor, Chaeryu, had been more to blame for that situation. He’d refused to marry Huazo, his first love, following the snobbish advice of family members. And then he’d faithlessly abandoned the mother of his oldest child and wed another woman from a more powerful clan, who had given him the legitimate son who had inherited the crown. To top it all off, the man had died, leaving his young sons to smooth over the mess their father’s disloyalty had caused among the rival clans. Ukano’s grasping plot could have created a succession crisis serious enough to rip their country apart. But that shouldn’t be all too surprising. That was exactly what the New Ozai Society hoped to accomplish.</p><p>“He hinted that he wouldn’t be upset if I got pregnant.” He could feel the heat of her cheek blushing with shame. “Why do you think he left us alone at our house for hours on end?”</p><p>Zuko was appalled. She’d said that her parents were social climbers, but using a daughter that way was disgusting. “He treated you like a---" he could not say the word.</p><p>“Basically.”</p><p>“I wish that were a crime so I could lock him up.” He fumed. “Tell me this has nothing to do with the way sex wasn’t even an option for us back then, and now it suddenly is.” He knew she’d deny it, but there was also a grain of truth there that made him endlessly grateful he hadn’t given in to her temptation. It was just like her to rebel for the sake of rebelling, to make such a huge decision based solely on what would anger her father the most.</p><p>“It doesn’t!” she insisted, predictably.</p><p>“Then why---"</p><p>“That’s a stupid question.” She spat at him. “It’s a basic human drive.”</p><p>“Of course. But why <em>now</em>?”</p><p>“All that stuff I just said! Because I almost lost you and that showed me how much I love you. Because you’ve been so good to me since I got kicked out. Because this feels more like home than my parents’ house ever did.”</p><p>“The beach house? Or the palace?”</p><p>“No, <em>you</em>.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “You idiot.”</p><p>She was speaking with total conviction, and she was anything but a liar. If she didn’t care for someone, Mai never had any qualms in saying so. Logically, Zuko had to admit she meant it, though for him, considering himself loved was nearly impossible. He calmed down. He wasn’t really mad at her.</p><p>"You know I love you too.” He assured her. “And I want you to feel at home with me, to be comfortable and happy. I just---"</p><p>“You just don’t think you deserve it. Your dad made sure of that.”</p><p>Zuko looked away. She knew him so well.</p><p>“Tell me, were any of those things I just said about you untrue?” Mai pressed.</p><p>She’d called him handsome, kind, wise. Too many wonderful things. He shook his head. “I don’t believe any of that. But I accept that you do.”</p><p>“That’s a start, I guess.” She wiggled her shoulder contentedly, fitting herself under his arm more tightly. “I’m pretty sure I got the better side of this bargain.”</p><p>“Well, if you really think so, I’m not going to argue anymore.” Zuko resigned himself to bliss, surprising himself with the good humor this concession made possible. “I'd much prefer it if you continue to believe in this delusion a little while longer.”</p><p>“How about the rest of our lives?” She was looking at him frankly, with some levity in her eyes.</p><p>It was as if he could feel something green and hardy sprouting in the ashes of his heart. He touched his forehead to hers, sighing. “I must be the luckiest guy in the world.”</p><p>Mai stuck his chest with a sharp finger. “And don't you ever forget it.” </p><p>“I'm sure you won't let me.” Zuko chuckled, gathering her even closer, so he could sleep with his cheek against her hair.</p><p>The couple drifted off in each others' arms, soothed by the sound of a warm rain on the beach house roof. </p>
<hr/><p>A week or two later, an old man in Ba Sing Se opened a letter from his nephew.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Uncle, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You were right. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you remember when my bandages first came off and I cried about how ugly I’d become? And then a few weeks later, we were in that market picking up supplies, and that girl who served us noodles gasped in disgust and dropped her tray when I turned my head and she saw my left side? I had a fit later, going on about how I would never have any friends, or a girlfriend, or a wife. In the weeks that followed, that conviction hardened my resolve to find the Avatar, so that I would at least have my position back, and could use that to purchase pretended affection. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I told you these fears, you insisted that someday I would find a woman who would want me, scar and all. Even when we were poor refugees, you were sure that I could attract someone who would understand and accept me, that I didn’t need to be a prince to be loved. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Remember Jin, that sweet Earth Kingdom girl you pushed me into taking out on an awkward date? I totally messed up that night, acting surly because I didn’t truly believe any girl could honestly be interested in me. She perplexed me, with her open, gullible optimism, and then entranced me with her childlike delight in the flames I conjured for her. It made me feel like I might actually be able to make a girl happy someday, by myself, without a title or crown. One date was enough for me to realize that Jin could never have held my interest for long: she was all light and no shadows, too uncomplicated. Nevertheless, I’m grateful to the brown-haired girl from Ba Sing Se. She helped make me ready for this. For real love. </em>
</p><p><em>Mai is a revelation: dark, but warm, fierce and bold, but astonishingly tender. She’s pragmatic, not at all demonstrative or effusive. Nevertheless, she feels things deeply, and I’m learning to read her signs. And she sees straight through me. She even said she actually </em>likes<em> my scar. It makes zero sense to me, but I have to believe her: she saved my life at the Boiling Rock and chose me over her parents. Mai has proven her love for me in word and deed, and I am overcome with wonder and humility and appreciation and joy. I would have been thrilled to spend my life with her even if she only </em>tolerated <em>me, but she has turned out to be everything you promised and more. Amazingly, someday is now. Mai astounded me when she said she doesn’t care about my throne, and would have left her parents to be with me even if we had to work at your tea shop. But, as much as I know you would like that, I do have a country to run. And now, a partner to run it with me. </em></p><p>
  <em>Thank you for believing in me and in love when I couldn’t. I’m sorry your word wasn’t enough to convince me back then; now that I’m this happy I can see how right you were. I can only imagine how frustrating my teenage angst must have been for you to listen to. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope this letter finds you well and that the tea shop is full of fascinating strangers. Write back soon with more tales of your delightful patrons and how you solve all their problems with a cup of ginseng and a story. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Zuko</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Iroh smiled and sipped his tea. Knowing his beloved nephew had found such happiness made it taste even sweeter.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s Note: The story of Huazo and Chaeryu is in the background of the YA novel The Shadow of Kyoshi.</p><p>That concludes the story of Mai and Zuko's almost-engagement and the beginning of their intimate relationship. I'm also working on a one-shot story about Mai's sixteenth birthday, which will be explicit and so posted exclusively on AO3.</p><p>On Friday I will be back with When It's All Over! Aang and his friends arrive in the Fire Nation. I can't wait to share with you what I have planned.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>